By Laura Kipnis
From the writer of the acclaimed Against Love comes a pointed, audacious, and witty exam of the kingdom of the feminine psyche within the post-post-feminist global of the twenty-first century.Women stay stuck among feminism and femininity, among self-affirmation and an never-ending quest for self-improvement, among taking part in an injured celebration and claiming independence. instead of blaming the standard suspects–men, the media–Kipnis takes a difficult examine culprits in the direction of domestic, particularly girls themselves. Kipnis serves up the gory info of the mutual displeasure among women and men in painfully hilarious element. Is anatomy future in any case? An formidable and unique reassessment of feminism and women’s ambivalence approximately it, the feminine Thing breathes provocative new lifestyles into that age-old query.
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Extra resources for The Female Thing: Dirt, envy, sex, vulnerability
If anatomy is destiny, then man is destined to masturbate. He may do it with guilt and the torments of hell pounding in his ears, but he does it anyway. That is how men are, we shrug, animals, driven by their testosterone. Society says it is not how women are. Since time began, a “good mother” takes her daughter’s hand away from her vagina with far more determination than she applies to her son and his penis. Mothers know everything there is to know about being a woman: Nice Women don’t masturbate.
When I was writing My Mother/My Self fifteen years ago, I thought economic independence, more than anything, would help grown women throw off the emotional need to lose themselves in relationships. Ideally, emotional separation and individuation is something that should be learned and practiced in the first years of life. But if we didn’t get it then, all is not lost; it is harder later on, but we can teach ourselves. What I didn’t realize in the mid-seventies however, was that women would confuse economic independence with honest emotional separation.
Tell the man what it is we want, give him some guidance about what we desire, what turns us on, speak the words out loud? Absolutely not! Being contraceptively prepared goes against a lifelong addiction to love, a state of mind that includes sexual feeling but has never been differentiated from it. Is it love/romance we want or is it sex? Wouldn’t it be helpful to know, and also to know that we can have the one without the other? Maybe it’s preferable to love the person with whom you are having sex, but not necessarily all the time.